Ephesians 4:26
26 “In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
Woah, I'm in trouble!I don't like drama.
I divorced my first husband because I don't like drama. Constant, non stop, over inflated, annoying and never ending drama. I can't handle it. But it is constant in my life right now. Once again, never ending. And when I can't find the relief I need from it, I blow. Like Mount Vesuvius. I rage against it. Beating myself and everyone around me up with my anger and annoyance at the situation.
I feel much better after I finally blow my top. I've vented, let it out, got rid of some pent up anger. Whew! I'm good now for another couple of days.
Yeah, you would think.
But lately, the Spirit has laid it on my heart that, no, it does not only not make me feel better, I feel completely horrible after. I've said things I probably shouldn't have said, and more than likely have done something I shouldn't have done.
I have no excuses for my behavior, it's mine, I own it.
I blow up and go off to make myself feel better, basically by hurting everyone else around me.
I have prayed about it, and now have become a woman on a mission.
It's time to get into the Word and find my peace, the peace that can only come from The One who holds my heart and soul in His hands.
I am stubborn, hard headed even. It took me a long time to get my focus off of myself and the situation and on to the only One who can give me the strength to make it through.
My situation is not going to change anytime soon, I don't think. Until He steps in and starts changing the hearts and minds of everyone involved, it's not going to change.
I've prayed and prayed and prayed that He would step in and do that.
Now I realize, it's not everyone else who is going to change and grow in this situation, it's me.
I have spent the last three years reacting to my situation, when I need to be proactive.
I need a study of anger, self control, and loving your neighbor and your enemy, all rolled up in one.
I know what the bible says about anger
Proverbs 29:11
11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.
James 1:20
20
because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
Proverbs 19:11
11
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Ecclesiastes 7:9
9
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.
Proverbs 15:18
18
A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
I could go on for days.
And it is all true, I feel it. You feel it. When we are angry and give vent to that anger, afterwards, we feel horrible. We regret, we feel ashamed. And then all that adds up to more anger.
My 2019 focus will be on anger.
On controlling my situation with the peace and joy I find in Him, not in the outward struggles in my life.
It's hard, I have tried and tried to keep my mouth shut, to just let the situation ride and pray for a better outcome. But it just builds up in me, it sits inside and festers until it boils out into a tirade that I can't control.
So if you think about it today, drop a small prayer for me, that an in-depth bible study and prayers will help me get through every situation showing the Love of Christ to everyone. Not just those who make me happy and smile.
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