When you hate someone

 

Shocking! I know. 

But when you are deep down honest, Christian or not, we hate. 

We aren't supposed to, we try not to, but it's there. 

When someone has done you wrong too many times to count and it looks like there will never be an end. For whatever reason you can not get away from this person, get them out of your life. A child, a parent, a family member you have to deal with. 

I have that. (just being honest here)

You can only take so much of the constant barrage of abuse before you start hating that person. You hate to have to see them, you hate to have to deal with them. And slowly, you start to hate them. For everything they have put you through in the past, for everything they are putting you through right now, and for everything you know will be coming your way in the future. You see absolutely no end coming of their constant abuse. Physical, verbal, mental, whichever the case may be. 

As a Christian you know you have to show them the love of Christ.

 1 Corinthians 13:2: “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."

1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

 Proverbs 3:3-4: “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man."

Luke 6:37 King James Version (KJV)

³⁷ Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

Forgive? Now there's a word isn't it? How do you forgive someone who is constantly, seemingly going out of their way to cause you pain and problems. Intentionally seeking out ways to make you as miserable as they possibly can? Forgive is a HUGE word.

And the most important, and hardest to do:

 John 15:12: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

A command! Not a request, not only if they love you back,

Mathew 5:44-47

  44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. 46For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? 47And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? 

 Ok, well now we have the command, but that doesn't really help what we cover up in our hearts does it? 

Once I had read, and learned these verses, I was immediately convicted, I held hatred in my heart, and the other person was doing nothing to help me not have that hatred, in fact, they were doing their utmost best to foster it.

The bible says pray for them. Um....right, that is the last thing I want to do. I want them to go away, to leave me alone, to stop making my life so miserable. I don't want to pray for them, except to pray for all of the above to happen. So that's where I started. 

The bible says pray for them, so I prayed,

"Father please make this person stop treating me this way"

"Jesus please make this person stop being so hateful and mean to me"

"Father please change my heart towards this person so the things they do don't bother me so much"

And I did this for months! 

Then it hit me, the Spirit opened my heart one day and I realized, this wasn't praying for them, it was praying for me. All of these prayers were to make my life easier, to help me out, this was not praying for anyone but myself. 

So I made a change, and it was hard, sometimes, on certain days, very, very hard.

"Lord, Father, Jesus, Spirit, bless this person. Bring a blessing into their life today."

The first time I prayed for a blessing over them, oh! you just don't know how hard it was. 

But I did it, because the bible says to pray for them.

 I did it everyday, asked the Father to bring a blessing into their life. For months.

Then it got easier, and my heart really became involved in those prayers. I was still dealing with the constant crap, but my heart had changed. 

I believed the words I prayed for this person, I felt them, I really wanted God to bless them, to heal them, to change their heart of stone to one of flesh. 

And the more I prayed these prayers for that person, the more I was convicted to stand in the gap for them. I requested prayers from our Sunday School class, our Wednesday night prayer meeting, and anyone who knew our situation. 

I didn't request prayers for myself, but for this person. 

I know the bible says pray for our enemies, those we hate, those who hate us, and I know it is the hardest thing we can do. This whole process took me over two years.  

But I am telling you, if it is a command in the bible, it is good for you. It may not feel like it, you may not want to do it. But when you come out the other side, you realize it.

I'm just here to say, we hate. We can lie to others and even lie to ourselves, but God knows our hearts, and we can never lie to Him. 

Confess it, repent and pray. 

You don't even  have to mean it at first, confess to your Father that you are only doing it because the Word says you should do it. (trust me, it won't be a surprise to Him).

You don't have to like it. But when you follow God and walk in His ways, He changes you from a "have to" to a "want to" 

He may not change them, that may not be His will, but He will change you.