Get yourself a study buddy

We all have our prayer circles, people we text, email or call with our prayers or needs that someone else has asked us to share.
We have our friends that we share our faith with, our Sunday School classes where we can study and learn and ask for prayers. But what I think every Christian needs is a study buddy.
Someone you can trust when your faith is low and your doubt is high. Someone you can text at two in the morning and say "hey! guess what I found in Mark chapter 12!" or " I don't think I am ever gonna be worthy" and when they FINALLY wake up the next morning they can't wait to see what you've found, or to give you the encouragement you need. Even if you don't want to hear it.
Someone who lovingly guides us through scriptures we don't want to read because they convict us. And we know they know it is convicting us and we love them for it. We love them because we know they are not trying to convict us, they are trying to help us.
It hit me this morning how blessed I really am to have that person in my life.
Granted we have been BFFs for 40 years, but the last three or four have been our best. Sharing faith and fear and conviction and doubt. I can take anything, anything to her and she will tell me if I'm wrong and encourage me if I'm right.
I woke up depressed this morning, just in one of those funks where I just felt like I am never going to be able to beat my sin.
My prayer journal is full of notes that are reminiscent of Paul's writing

Romans 7:19-24
¹⁹ For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
²⁰ Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
²¹ I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
²² For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
²³ But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
²⁴ O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

Then I woke up this morning and did something I rarely do anymore, I checked Instagram, there was a quote that reminded me:

Zechariah 3:4 

⁴ And he answered and spake unto those that stood before him, saying, Take away the filthy garments from him. And unto him he said, Behold, I have caused thine iniquity to pass from thee, and I will clothe thee with change of raiment.

Of course I messaged my Bff and told her about how awesome it is that our God hears us and gives us encouragement (not my exact words) so we got into a full blown discussion at 7 a.m. about how Satan uses our guilt to keep us low, to grow our doubt, to keep us from  feeling as close to our Father as we possibly can in the flesh.

Then she asks me "but let me ask you this, have you ever murdered or persecuted Christians?" "Do you think Paul was saved"

It was like a huge thump in my heart, or more literally a smack upside my head.
I already knew about Paul, I already knew his life as Saul and what he did, and more importantly, his life as Paul and all that he had done. But I needed to hear it. Even though I knew, that wasn't where my head was at at that moment, it was wallowing in my self doubt and regrets.

 Philippians 3:13-14
  ¹³ Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, ¹⁴ I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

THAT is what you need a study buddy for.

Father I pray for this reader, that there is someone in their life that they can trust with every concern and doubt. We lean on You Father for our wisdom and understanding, and Your Word as our guide. Grant them someone in their lives that would help them walk deeper and farther with You. Amen